March 19, 2009

Tired, oh so Tired







Can I just talk about tired right now? Does the talking about it make it better or worse? Does thinking about napping summon the energy to get up, take the shoes off, fiddle with the blanket and snooze? Or do I just drag drag drag through the day and anticipate the pleasure of getting jammified and in between the sheets early in the evening, letting myself drowse off after reading a House Beautiful magazine?

Okay, I'm tired. Not as tired as Katie wrote about yesterday, having gotten up at 2:30 a.m. Maybe not as tired as I was when I had little babies at home and one of them had an ear ache and cried every time I laid her down, so I spent the night on the sofa, the tiny head up against my warm chest, sitting vertically so the pressure was eased on my daughter's ear.

Maybe not as tired as I was after spending the night in a hospital chair beside a son's bedside, the nurses and orderlies and doctors in and out all night long for the patient across from us, the last lab tech--after drawing blood from an ankle--leaving the little child all uncovered and crying. I glanced over at my son, still sleeping. I got up, re-dressed the baby, wrapped the little baby girl tightly mummy-style and propped her up on her side, my hand caressing her back until she fell asleep.

But I think it's a terrible joke of nature that just as soon as I get the babies raised and the teenagers all settled in their lives, taking their variety of sleepless nights with them, that I can't sleep. Last night it all began with a spate of mid-term grading, lasting until midnight. I turned out all the lights, went to bed, exhausted. But at this age, sometimes sleep comes and sometimes it doesn't and there isn't much--other than swallowing a pill--that I can do about it.

The windows open because of mild weather--I lay there listening to the lone bird a street or two over call out in the darkness. I heard a car drive slowly up our street, then drive back down again. The beep of a car door locking. I turned to the other side, and finally fell asleep, the last glance at the clock showing nearly 1 a.m.

So, today, since I have no babies, no teenagers, and no class tomorrow (I'll start grading again later--two more sets of essays), I'm kicking off my shoes, and going horizontal.

5 comments:

  1. I feel your pain. I was groggy today b/c my husband woke me up from my slumber at 10:30 p.m. last night (I had been sleeping for an hour) since he knew I wasn't changed for bed and that I had more work to do. UGH! I love that he wanted to make sure that my makeup was off and that my papers were graded, but I barely slept all night!

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  2. Just let it ride, Elizabeth, and take a nap. We're all still trying to adjust to losing an hour. Thank you for your amazing comments...
    ~T-Dawg

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  3. An afternoon nap is a wonderful thing.

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  4. I really hate that feeling. I used to love to nap, but now I find it interrupts my sleep at night even more. My grandma used to sleep throughout the day for short 4-5 hour naps, but of course she was retired and didn't have any regularly scheduled obligations except the temple a few days a week. She could easily stay up all night if she wanted and sleep all day! I can't wait to get to that stage of my life.

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  5. Why are we so tired? We work to hard I think. I ended up taking a two hour nap and then going to bed at 8:00pm. It was great! Hope you're feeling more refreshed today.

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