March 14, 2009

The Letter I Didn't Send

The Letter I Didn't Send:
Dear Dingbat,
When you wrote me last time for your mid-term grade, I had just walked in the door from school, a mere 3 hours after I had given your entire class of 30 students the test. I didn't even roll my eyes when I wrote you back saying that I don't give out grades without the tests, and that I would work on them over Spring Break and you'd find out your score when we returned.

Imagine my surprise in checking my email the night I returned home from my trip, finding another email from you, telling me it was really important that you know your mid-term test grade and would I please tell you.

Well, my dear student, I've been a little busy. Since I last corresponded with you, I've been in three cities, two states, driven across two deserts, flown over another, attended a funeral, held babies, cooked and cleaned and sewed and sorry to say, didn't get your midterm graded.

And because Uncle Sam outranks you, I didn't even jump right on it this morning, instead doing taxes with my husband, so we can send them off to our tax guy Lloyd this afternoon.

So, as I said before, you'll find out your score when I hand you back the test on Tuesday. I also noticed that you hadn't posted on our class blog like you were supposed to, and that your paragraph revisions---the only grading I did get to--was missing. Did you forget to turn it in?

I like you a lot, but enough already. I have a full life outside of the classroom. As an adjunct professor, I'm only paid for the hours I'm there, so my off-time is my time. Not yours.

See you Tuesday.


The Letter I Did Send:
Dear David,
I've been out of town traveling and am not near my school materials. I hope Tuesday is early enough for you to find out your grade on your midterm.

Sincerely,
Ms. Teacher

8 comments:

  1. Now this is what I DON"T miss about teaching.
    I loved your very creative approach to this never ending saga,
    Bonnie

    Welcome home!

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  2. I haver certainly "written" many such messages in my head. :) Some people just don't get it.

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  3. I'm glad you wrote both and sent the latter. Like Lisa said, some people just don't get it.

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  4. I used to have WHOLE conversations in my head with students. LOL. I totally relate!

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  5. Oh this is priceless! I love it!

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  6. Laughed out line while reading this. Isn't writing great therapy!!

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  7. To show what a sense of humor my daughter has, she wrote this to my emailbox:

    deer miss teacher,

    i think i dezerve my grade sooner then that. I did'nt post the to the blog beecause i was busy chasing girlz and expeerimenting in other non-traditional cough medicines. i guess toothsday will be phine. thanks.

    (She did mispellings on purpose!)

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